Saturday, December 15, 2007
In a spot
Outside my window, a squirrel is hanging on to our bird feeder for dear life. He's eaten all he can but can't seem to find his way off the feeder. He wrestles around, repositions while the feeder swings to and fro, but for some reason he can't go back the way he came.
I want to help him but don't know how. If I go out there, will he just freak out, possibly fall and hurt himself? Do squirrels have heart attacks?
I want to help him because at least someone should be able to get on with their life and not be stuck on an empty swinging bird feeder.
I feel so big now and I think he's still growing. I have that totally pregnant walk with my hands on my back and waddling like a penguin. When I sit in a chair I have to have my legs out to the side because there is no room for baby on my lap. The pressure on my pubic bones is intense and his head hasn't even descended nearly enough yet.
I don't like this waiting... I was never one to leave the presents under the tree uncounted, unshaken, sometimes even unopened - the anticipation is too much!
today I spoke to a friend. "I just want something to happen!" I said.
"Something is happening. This is happening."
But, but... damn.
So, after a full day of dog park walking, Indian food eating and Christmas shopping (in Macy's, no less!), I have been sufficiently distracted and even a little soothed by the small contractions I've experienced. Yes, something is happening.
This is happening. And I feel less of a need to define what this is. It is now.
I think I'll take a bath.