I'm most amazed by very small things. Very small intricate trinkets are absolutely dazzling and I wish a had a huge display case with a kujillion tiny compartments and some sort of Rube Goldberg set up with magnifying glasses and a variety of lights to view each item at optimal settings. I'd like the kind of case you could get lost in; one that visitors, especially small children, might be scared of (if they're dull) or interested in (if they are the kind of child I am). Yes, that's what I'd like.
I'd like to have a collection of my name written on grains of rice by different artists I find at different touristy places. Each one would be set like a gemstone on a little silver stand with a tag saying the name of the artist, the location and the date. Maybe I could even include a bit of our conversation.
"Ok, miss. I do for you. What your name?"
"What do you think my name is?"
"What do I look like? I'm not sure what my name is. Maybe you could give me a name? What really fits me?"
I wonder how many rice grains would say "annoying bitch" in chinese.
This all started for a reason. I was washing dishes, sweeping, all those housewifey things and fixating on some small things. But by the time I'm ready to write, all that's left of that thought is "I'm most amazed by small things."
Small things that amaze me:
- How much pain can be caused by a tiny insect.
- Even small diamonds can have brilliant fire.
- A decimal point can change your life.
- A nuzzle from a loved one when you're doing dishes, even if you don't let it show.
- cell phones that fit in my wallet
- voicemails from friends who live faraway (not a hint!)
- little mineral sparkles in water, flecks of mica in rock
- flashcards - for learning or for storing
- the hyoid bone - because it floats unattached to any other bone and because it's name is very lovely to say.
- my mom's dog, Sophie
- several small marbles rolling in my hand
- how finches pick around the millet to get the sunflower seeds, so few and far between
- baby goats
and, the thing that started this whole thing...
The first and immediate bite of any sandwich I've just made, especially grilled cheese and pbj.
I absolutely can not make a sandwich without taking a bite immediately. Even if it's my lunch that I have to eat in 6 hours, with 6 hours to wait again until the end of the shift. I can almost never even make it to lunch, because I keep thinking of the sandwich sitting like a perfect little friend, waiting for me. I think, how lonely is my little friend, hanging out in a bag in the dark. It doesn't have a book or even a radio to pass the time; not even a rosary should it find religion. Nothing but the thought that I'll be there later, to eat it and fulfill its wondrous destiny.
And I can't wait. I can't, I can't, I can't.
Ooh, I want a PBJ now.